1 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:35,756 In the not so distant future the world is at war once again. 2 00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:39,380 Nuclear war has destroyed most of our beloved Earth. 3 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:43,960 Those who survived, still fight a deplorable battle between good and evil... 4 00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:47,240 A battle of world power for some... 5 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,716 But for our boys back at home in the good ol' U S of A... 6 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,700 It's a battle for freedom. 7 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:30,920 The Soviets have created a new unstoppable force in weaponry. 8 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,400 Oh! 9 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:45,000 Dilbert. 10 00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:53,146 Meddling in unnatural experiments with animal and human DNA they created a 11 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:56,840 super soldier half man half shark 12 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:01,620 Dilbert... It's alive, it's alive! 13 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,833 A creature that fights like a man. 14 00:02:13,845 --> 00:02:15,856 But strikes fear into the hearts of all that 15 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,780 see him with his fierce jagged and soulless beady eyes. 16 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,686 We will not stand idly by while 17 00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:47,196 these monsters destroyed our beloved country. 18 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:53,620 They may have brought the fight to our soil but this is where it ends. 19 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,800 This is where we make our stand. 20 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:02,020 They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. 21 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:18,476 After the death of our leaders in Washington. 22 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,916 The states were split into separate militias. 23 00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:24,000 Each county found leaders in civilians that were ready to die 24 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,480 to protect their beloved country against the red enemy. 25 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:33,296 The most notable and beloved leader of Free New York was Buck Morgan. 26 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,556 An All American Hero. 27 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:40,000 Buck was a gun enthusiast who owned a military surplus store in Western New York. 28 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,376 When the bombs fell. 29 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,540 He supplied his county with the means to defend themselves against tyranny. 30 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,740 But he didn't stop there. 31 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,560 Charge! 32 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,196 Buck spread his militia all across Free New York. 33 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,940 Taking back what was ours in the name of freedom. 34 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,576 Buck Morgan restored hope in our country's future 35 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,936 and paved the way for many followers to lead 36 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,316 America towards victory. 37 00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:14,096 Until one fateful day where he came face to face 38 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,781 with his most powerful adversary the 39 00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:20,060 abomination created by the sadistic Red Army. 40 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,296 The unsightly beast of a thousand nightmares. 41 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,700 The terror of unfathomable evil... 42 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:30,080 The Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark. 43 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:53,700 You puny Americans are no match for the great Soviet Army. 44 00:05:53,820 --> 00:06:00,296 Today I may fall but never underestimate the strength of the American people. 45 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,480 We will rise from all of this. 46 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:21,700 A great American hero dies but the fight is far from over. 47 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,260 So how's it coming Marty? 48 00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:51,884 If I keep at it, get a new head gasket, 49 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:54,800 flywheel clutch, she'll be running in no time. 50 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,580 So you're saying it's trash 51 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,060 Yeah, Cliff. This junker is never gonna run again. 52 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,976 Can I get you boys a beer? 53 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,920 No Meatball, stand down! 54 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,316 So we're looking for a few good men 55 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,456 in our fight against the Soviet Army. 56 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,640 Let me ask you, are you up for it? 57 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,960 Well Dante, my answer is... Better dead than Red. 58 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,020 Welcome aboard. 59 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,240 Grenade! 60 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,900 Charge! 61 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,180 Meatball, no! 62 00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:19,060 It's okay it doesn't even hurt that bad. 63 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,696 Don't die on me, Meatball. 64 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,776 just give me some duct tape, I can still fight. 65 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,596 He's gone delirious. 66 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,820 Really, I'll be okay. 67 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,996 What in the name of Sam Jackson is that? 68 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,140 A deep blue Commando Shark? 69 00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,100 Kill them all! 70 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,040 Sweet mother of the Jersey Devil. 71 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,240 It's a damn Shark Commando! 72 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,060 No! 73 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,500 I'm not gonna make it, save yourself. 74 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,340 Fall back, I'll cover you. 75 00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:54,960 Not without Cliff. 76 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:03,300 (Russian) 77 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,640 Damn you! 78 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:32,196 Let's call this a great FIN-ish to a glorious battle. 79 00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:34,656 You can take my life. 80 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,640 But don't take my Meatball. 81 00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,456 Your friend is chum. 82 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,836 Take the other one as a prisoner. 83 00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:46,320 We will torture him for information of the American Militia. 84 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,580 Nooooooooooo! 85 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,440 Aggghhh! 86 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,936 Hidden away in a mysterious lab. 87 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,520 American Scholar Dermot Jackson Washington 88 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,050 tests new formulas in hopes to create his own 89 00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:24,360 super human soldier for the American side. 90 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,536 Agatha Hudson. 91 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:43,136 What a sight for normal guys. Welcome to my laboratory. 92 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,676 Hello Dermot, have your experiments provided any new discoveries that might be 93 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,740 useful to our troops? 94 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,676 Unfortunately everything has fallen short thus far. 95 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:58,880 While experimenting on human and canine DNA has been met with moderate success. 96 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:04,380 I have yet to meet the standards that I had hoped to achieve. 97 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,800 Where lies the success of said experiment doctor? 98 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,060 Why don't you ask old Bruno over there? 99 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,600 You want me to ask a dog about the experiment? 100 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,076 Are you feeling all right? 101 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,836 Have you? How do you fallen ill from being cooped up here too long 102 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:26,040 alone in this lab doctor, should I send word for help? 103 00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:30,040 I'm feeling hungry, can I have a treat? 104 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,616 Did that dog just talk? 105 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,076 Precisely that is what I am trying to tell you. 106 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:38,236 Ol' Bruno there can talk just like you or I. 107 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:44,320 However, he is as dumb as a bag of marbles. 108 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,516 I could really go potty soon too. 109 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,716 But I'm more concerned about eating. 110 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,456 Can I have that treat now? 111 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,480 Where's my ball, have you seen my ball? 112 00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,340 Sweet potatoes. 113 00:11:55,460 --> 00:12:00,696 While creating a talking dog has made it much more simpler for taking care of him. 114 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:06,276 I have failed to meet the likes of the Soviet Shark Commando. 115 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:11,560 I need to find the missing link between brains and brawn. 116 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:13,400 Ball, did you say ball? 117 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,280 I said brawn, Bruno, brawn. 118 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,236 Have you seen my ball? 119 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:23,856 I have not seen your ball, Bruno and if it goes underneath the couch again. 120 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,496 I am not going to get it. 121 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,056 Now leave me alone I am very busy here. 122 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,220 Tell the woman to get my ball. 123 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:37,180 I am not gonna tell Agatha Hudson to get your ball. 124 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:39,480 Ball, where's my ball? 125 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,440 Oh... Can you see my frustration, Agatha? 126 00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:03,600 Meanwhile, on American soil the Soviet threat hits close to home... 127 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,820 In fact, it hits so close that it's right at our doorsteps. 128 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,880 Step away from that woman soldier. 129 00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:21,742 Whoever said sharks don't like 130 00:13:21,754 --> 00:13:25,940 the taste of human flesh clearly never met me. 131 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,576 Not another move tuna breath, or I'll pop ya. 132 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,016 I'd really like to sink my teeth into you. 133 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:41,556 Do you think you can kill me before I fit you in my jaws? 134 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,456 Why don't we find out? 135 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,040 I don't think you have the guts. 136 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,340 I've got plenty. 137 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,280 Prove it, show me what they look like. 138 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,640 For the Motherland. 139 00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,476 Corporal. Sir? 140 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,356 Get a hold of Hornet Squad and tell them we need reinforcements. 141 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:30,840 Sergeant we split up with Hornet Squad about ten clicks back, they're MIA. 142 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,176 Damn it. 143 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,136 These Commando Sharks are tearing our army apart. 144 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,416 I'll try to reach 'em again, Sir. 145 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,056 Don't even bother they're all dead I could just feel it right here. 146 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,916 What are your orders? 147 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:46,556 Orders? Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. 148 00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,396 Sir? 149 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,536 No, don't do that... 150 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:53,436 Get to HQ and tell them we need air support immediately. 151 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,420 Yes Sir. 152 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,076 Sir, your orders um... 153 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,436 I... I was listening. 154 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,436 I just... I forgot I gotta write it down. 155 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,396 Are you serious? 156 00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,276 Call HQ thank them for their support. 157 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:14,056 No you moron I said call HQ tell them we need air support... 158 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,540 Air support. 159 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,256 I'm sorry, you know... I... 160 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,756 I didn't eat breakfast today I'm just not thinking right. 161 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:22,696 You can't skip breakfast. 162 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,996 What's the first thing that Uncle Sam taught you? 163 00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:27,320 It's the most important meal of the day. 164 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,480 Hooah. Hooah. 165 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:29,976 Please leave. 166 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,240 I'm leaving. 167 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:32,796 Corporal. 168 00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:33,720 Sir. 169 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,076 I hate you. 170 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,840 Sorry. 171 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,320 This is exactly why we're losing... Son of a... 172 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,976 Somewhere away from the battlefield. 173 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,956 Some of the surviving youth of America debate world politics and the war. 174 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,920 I mean screw the Russians Bro. 175 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,656 I mean they want to come here and try to fight me. 176 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,760 I'll take them all out. 177 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,476 You just wait an' see. I'd just to go to their country and waste 'em all Bro. 178 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,656 Dwayne you can't blame an entire country for what their military is doing. 179 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,216 I can blame whoever I want to Chip, all right? 180 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,520 This is America and for now I'm still free. 181 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,616 Well Dwayne I'm just saying when the war started. 182 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,296 It affected everyone. 183 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,376 New people rose to power and some bad dudes took over the military. 184 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,540 But I'm willing to bet you the average Russian is just like you or me. 185 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,776 Whatever Bro. 186 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,280 If it was up to me I would just hit a button and I would kill 'em all. 187 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:35,960 Bro. 188 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,576 You can't have double standards like that Dwayne. 189 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,256 That makes you just as bad as the rest of them. 190 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,196 Shh. 191 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:46,240 Listen Roxy, can you see... 192 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,656 The men... We're talking. 193 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,916 Wow, yeah and here you are talking such a big game while our own 194 00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:58,536 people are fighting a war defending us and our right to be free. 195 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,636 It's pretty big words coming from someone who's sitting at home 196 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:02,716 safe. 197 00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,280 Away from any real threat. 198 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,196 I mean what is it is it that time of the month? 199 00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,176 Cuz you're acting like a real 200 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,376 B - I - T - C - H. 201 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,336 Ha ha yeah Bro that's right, woo. 202 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:19,076 Back off Dwayne she has the right to an opinion just like you. 203 00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,816 Whatever Dude. 204 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,160 I'm just gonna get up. 205 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,716 Take a whiz. 206 00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,760 Cuz I don't care what you think 207 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,340 you think. 208 00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:31,040 I like you, Bro. 209 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,460 Woo. 210 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,480 Dorks. 211 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,496 I suppose you make up for that little thing with your large ego. 212 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,260 Holy mackerel. 213 00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,160 Nah, I'm a shark. 214 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,220 Dwayne? 215 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,640 Do you mind if I join you for a bite? 216 00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:18,120 Hey, where are you going? 217 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,796 What do you want from us? 218 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:27,996 Simply to fertilize the Earth with your human blood. 219 00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,796 W... Would ya settle for a kidney? 220 00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:33,780 No thanks, I just filled up on your comrade over there. 221 00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:34,740 Oh. 222 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,820 What about a belly full of lead? 223 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:37,780 Huh? 224 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,780 My God you saved us. 225 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:47,276 Just doing my job protecting America 226 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,980 from one Soviet Shark at a time. 227 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,956 What's your name Sir I'd like to know the name of the man who saved us. 228 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,456 It's Marty, Marty Warbuck. 229 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,040 Be safe fellow Patriots. 230 00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:59,760 What a hero. 231 00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:04,640 Did you piss yourself? 232 00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,496 I suppose I did. 233 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,320 Yuck. 234 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,200 God bless America. 235 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,076 State your name for the camera. 236 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:28,880 I am Sergeant Dante Buchanan of the New American Resistance Force. 237 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,700 Where is a resistance base located? 238 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,320 We are everywhere. 239 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,800 You cannot defeat us, you cannot stop us. 240 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,980 What are you doing? 241 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,696 What is that? 242 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,460 That is truth serum you'll be forced to tell me what I want to know. 243 00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:52,876 Then I'll say nothing. 244 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,616 Then you will die. 245 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,876 Death before dishonor. 246 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,056 You have no choice you'll be singing like a song bird. 247 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,300 Once the serum kicks in it's best not to fight it. 248 00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,040 Damn you. 249 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,760 Tell me where to find your American allies! 250 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,136 My name is Sergeant Dante Buchanan 251 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:17,200 of the New American Resistance Force and I will not answer your questions. 252 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,020 More serum. 253 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,936 I will not answer your questions. 254 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,460 What is your favorite color? 255 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,160 Green. 256 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,560 Do you prefer dogs or cats? 257 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,560 Dogs. 258 00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:40,960 Son of a... 259 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,476 Where is the resistance base located? 260 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,400 We... Are... Everywhere. 261 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:48,020 More serum, Doctor? 262 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:52,556 No... No... We don't want to kill him. 263 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:53,440 Yet. 264 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,860 What is your favorite food? 265 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,220 Cheeseburgers and fries... 266 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,840 Darn it... 267 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:03,136 Very American. 268 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,500 Where is the base? 269 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,396 Guitar Center. 270 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,696 Not bass guitar, more specific. 271 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,176 Right right. 272 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,076 If I was driving around here on Main street. 273 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:17,676 And decided to stop for a coffee at the local cafe 274 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:21,036 and then suddenly realized I left my wallet back at the resistance base. 275 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:23,860 How would I go about getting back there? 276 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,220 Well you see. 277 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,200 Ya go down Main until you hit West Ave. 278 00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:36,276 And then about 2 miles past Saunders you get to the old church. 279 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,726 Hang a left and go 280 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,576 four miles off the beaten path. 281 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,196 There's the new resistance base. 282 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,816 You can't miss it. 283 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,316 That worked! 284 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,320 It really did! 285 00:21:49,780 --> 00:21:51,465 You can continue with a little bit of 286 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,540 torture, or whatever floats your boat Sharky. 287 00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,576 I might just skip right to the part where I'm eating him alive. 288 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:03,260 Really it's your call from here on out so do as you please. 289 00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,736 I appreciate it thank you Doctor. 290 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,436 You're very welcome, enjoy now. 291 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,396 You won't get away with this. 292 00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,336 You've been a wonderful guest 293 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:16,500 as my Russian counterparts would say "Pahkah". 294 00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:24,096 So you're gonna eat me? 295 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,376 Yes most likely I think. 296 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,976 Well that's reassuring. 297 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,196 Did you prefer I let you go? 298 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:35,476 Yeah, if I had a choice in the matter. 299 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:36,676 You don't. 300 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,796 Damn. 301 00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:40,040 Yeah, that bites. 302 00:22:56,540 --> 00:22:58,140 So you do bleed? 303 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,276 You'll never stop us. 304 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:02,776 There are more. 305 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,600 We are a collective of Shark Commandos. 306 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,560 When one is in danger. 307 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,776 It is like blood in the water to the rest. 308 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,940 They will find you and kill you. 309 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,240 Then I shouldn't waste any more time. 310 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,760 Over here! 311 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:29,700 I heard the shot. 312 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,180 He must not be far. 313 00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,640 Find him... And kill him. 314 00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,900 You can't hide forever shark killer. I will find you. 315 00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:48,740 Not if I find you first. 316 00:23:55,380 --> 00:23:56,840 Sweet dreams. 317 00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,520 Russian Soldier Number 1 do you copy? 318 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,780 I repeat, Russian Soldier Number 1 do you copy? 319 00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:12,260 Still no answer. 320 00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:15,520 Why are you calling him like this? Why are you not calling him by his name? 321 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:20,040 Shut up Russian Soldier Number 2. You are all expendable. 322 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,916 You are hurting my feelings. 323 00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:24,360 Enough. 324 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,396 I have name you know... 325 00:24:30,420 --> 00:24:31,700 It's Valery! 326 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,780 I refuse to call you that. 327 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:35,876 Why do you gotta be so... 328 00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:38,460 I said enough, Number 2. 329 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,256 Boroslav! 330 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,476 It's Valery! 331 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,336 Give it to me! Do you copy? 332 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,560 Give it to me! 333 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,900 No, Mister Bully Shark Man 334 00:24:57,380 --> 00:25:00,200 Boroslav... Do you copy? 335 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,316 Marty Warbuck managed to narrowly escape the Soviet jaws of death. 336 00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:13,976 So he moved onward towards the New American Resistance Force Base Camp 337 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,356 in Free New York. 338 00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:19,540 There he had hoped to tell his brothers in arms of his latest discovery. 339 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,000 I'm tellin' ya. 340 00:26:04,180 --> 00:26:06,540 There's more than one superhuman shark out there. 341 00:26:06,580 --> 00:26:08,600 Each one of them leads their own assault group. 342 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,316 They're all linked together like the freakin' Borg or something. 343 00:26:11,340 --> 00:26:13,520 Well thank you, Mr. Idiot. 344 00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:15,900 But we already know that. 345 00:26:16,420 --> 00:26:20,660 I hope you didn't have to travel too far down Moron Lane 346 00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:24,096 to find us and to tell us that load of horse manure. 347 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,080 That we're already aware of. 348 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,100 That would be embarrassing. 349 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,160 Roger that. 350 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,860 I didn't... I thought... How'd everybody else know? 351 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:38,400 I'd expect a candy ass like you wouldn't listen to the news now would you? 352 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,020 I didn't think they're still broadcasting on television after the bombs. 353 00:26:42,140 --> 00:26:45,196 Oh son of a motherless goat. 354 00:26:45,220 --> 00:26:50,756 You are the dumbest rat turd in the whole damn world. 355 00:26:50,780 --> 00:26:57,360 And you're fighting on our side. Oh thank the baby Jesus. 356 00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:06,236 Why's he so mean? 357 00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:09,580 Don't take it too hard kid he's a tough nut to crack. 358 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:12,160 Y'all ain't got radios out where you're at kid? 359 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,816 Most of the news getting out that way. 360 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,560 Hell the Internet still works. 361 00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,500 I didn't think the check I guess. 362 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,836 I'm not gonna lie I feel pretty dumb right now. 363 00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:24,780 Good news is I killed one of 'em 364 00:27:24,940 --> 00:27:27,256 One. I've got six. 365 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,260 Keep one mounted in each of my favorite rooms... 366 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,140 This being one of 'em.. 367 00:27:32,980 --> 00:27:36,216 Don't feel bad kid the Corps is proud of you. 368 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,216 Oh yeah you just happen to wander 369 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,096 yourself into a place with far superior human beings and now you're acting like 370 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,280 you're the bee's knees. 371 00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:47,980 I'm sorry kid I'm coming off as a bit of a jerk. 372 00:27:48,060 --> 00:27:50,740 Keep up the good fight, you're doing just swell. 373 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,100 Gee thanks. 374 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,900 Son, the country is proud for your service. 375 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,040 You grab a gift bag on the way out complimentary grenades inside. 376 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,480 Wonderful, I just ran out. 377 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:04,780 Bye bye now. 378 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,300 And so Marty's epic journey had led to a discouraging chapter. 379 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:21,580 He would now walk aimlessly into the unknown unsure of his future. 380 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,096 Without a friend or companion by his side. 381 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:28,800 In this moment he knew what it felt like to be truly alone. 382 00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:31,460 Are you kidding me? 383 00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:38,200 Until we meet again fearful hero. 384 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:04,256 Ladies and gentlemen I have gathered you here together to discuss our plans 385 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,620 on destroying the Soviet opposition. 386 00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:13,016 We will not go quietly as these scumbags try to 387 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,200 take over our beloved country. 388 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,620 We will sneak behind enemy lines 389 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:26,396 and cut straight to the heart of their command we will infiltrate their base of 390 00:29:26,420 --> 00:29:30,716 operation and destroy it from the inside out. 391 00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:33,596 They won't even know what hit 'em. 392 00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:38,476 We will bring the battle right to their doorsteps. 393 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,360 We have located the... 394 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,916 Don't interrupt me when I'm talking son. 395 00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:45,620 You'll get your turn. 396 00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:48,336 But it's important... 397 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,336 I was just curious as to what your plan was 398 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,436 if the enemy already have achieved these things you say 399 00:29:55,460 --> 00:30:00,436 and we're standing inside your base with their weapons trained on you. 400 00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:01,600 Oh boy. 401 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,976 How the hell did they get past us did I fall asleep? 402 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,440 Well Young Man if the Reds are here 403 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:17,480 as you say they are... As they most certainly appear to be... 404 00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:24,420 I would have them know that we Americans don't die without a fight. 405 00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:38,660 Medic! 406 00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:47,540 Kill them all! 407 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,896 That General had an explosive personality. 408 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,920 I'm kind of sad I didn't get to know him better. 409 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,700 He seemed like my kind of chum. 410 00:32:10,260 --> 00:32:14,440 I'm in for five dollars and... 411 00:32:15,420 --> 00:32:18,640 Buy one get one chicken fried chicken. 412 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:24,120 Well since your coupon holds no value whatsoever. 413 00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:31,080 I'll see your five dollars and raise you 100 in caps. 414 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,320 Well played Sir, well played. 415 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,900 Oh hey guys do you uh... Do you have some duct tape I could borrow? 416 00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:47,456 Yeah there's some in the other room in a drawer under the microwave. 417 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,680 Thanks I appreciate it. 418 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,516 Oh man, you feeling okay? 419 00:32:51,540 --> 00:32:53,756 It's not that bad. I'll be all right. 420 00:32:53,780 --> 00:32:57,396 Really cuz it kind of looks that bad. 421 00:32:57,420 --> 00:33:00,076 It's alright. I'll be okay. 422 00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:01,416 Okay Dude. 423 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,396 Whatever you say. 424 00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:09,316 You know those mega low douche bags they did me like Delilah did Samson. 425 00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:12,236 And they shaved me. 426 00:33:12,260 --> 00:33:16,316 And then they waterboarded me 427 00:33:16,340 --> 00:33:18,836 with shark caviar. 428 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:21,760 I'll be right back guys. 429 00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:25,700 Oh man. 430 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,740 What do you got? 431 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,216 Hold it! 432 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:47,320 It says leave your weapons here before entering. 433 00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:57,600 I don't think so. 434 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,800 Any last words, Suckers? 435 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,320 Don't shoot. 436 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,400 he tasted like barbecue sauce and cheap beer. 437 00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,040 American scum. 438 00:34:29,260 --> 00:34:31,780 Come on, let's get out of here. 439 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,280 Oh I'm so sorry. 440 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:13,740 you think I would have heard all this happen from the other room. 441 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,380 The American Resistance Force suffered. 442 00:35:23,392 --> 00:35:25,966 A huge loss today as our top secret base of 443 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:31,216 operations in western New York, which I may add was cleverly hidden off Route 31. 444 00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:34,936 Was ambushed by the Red Army 445 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,076 among the casualties were General William Spark. 446 00:35:38,100 --> 00:35:40,596 Sergeant Diane Packert. 447 00:35:40,620 --> 00:35:42,936 Captain Bubba Dick Henry. 448 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,746 And some other background soldiers 449 00:35:44,770 --> 00:35:49,476 just trying to make their way in this dog eat dog world. 450 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,716 While the enemy is still at large 451 00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:55,516 and slaughtering our boys in great numbers daily. 452 00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:59,336 We will not give up on the fight for freedom. 453 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,016 In other news our top secret base on 454 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:06,240 Goat Island in Niagara Falls has not been detected by the enemy. 455 00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:10,500 And will be our main point of operations from here on out. 456 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:13,820 Godspeed my fellow Americans 457 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,336 I was just there. 458 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,600 Must have narrowly escaped with my life. 459 00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,616 If only I could have saved their lives from the cold clammy hands of evil. 460 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,216 Just be happy you're still alive Marty you're one of the lucky ones. 461 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,960 You know, now I just wonder how they found out about the base camp. 462 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,060 Now, is our new headquarters on Goat island going to be safe? 463 00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:34,036 Nelson unless the Russians own a radio. 464 00:36:34,060 --> 00:36:36,976 There's no way humanly possible they could even know about it. 465 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,136 You really don't think they're listening to our radio frequencies? 466 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,996 Don't be an idiot Marty. 467 00:36:41,020 --> 00:36:43,116 Russkies can't listen to our stations from Russia... 468 00:36:43,140 --> 00:36:44,760 Moron. 469 00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:48,580 Well they're invading our country don't you think they could just grab a radio and... 470 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,196 Damn it, Marty. Alfonzo is our leading expert 471 00:36:52,220 --> 00:36:55,680 psychologist on Russian behavior just listen to his knowledge. 472 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,300 Forgive me Nelson, I just think it's cut and dry that... 473 00:36:59,580 --> 00:37:01,596 I have a freakin' degree knucklehead. 474 00:37:01,620 --> 00:37:02,556 From where? 475 00:37:02,580 --> 00:37:05,136 I took an online course nothing your small brain 476 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,600 could comprehend... Dick Potato. 477 00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:11,056 Online course? Why would I doubt your credentials. 478 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,300 Was it from U Dummy U? 479 00:37:13,420 --> 00:37:17,176 I've never heard of that school it was offered through the KGBU 480 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,876 and what in the F is that? 481 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:21,076 The knowledge of getting brighter University. 482 00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,796 You Sir are being brainwashed by Russian hackers 483 00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:26,056 Well you Sir are a conspiracy theorist. 484 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,980 Gentlemen whoa whoa whoa we have enough trouble in the world right now. 485 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,716 No need to fight each other. This just in... 486 00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:33,396 Wait, wait, quiet. Breaking news. 487 00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:37,720 We've just recieved word that since our last report the Red Army has dropped 488 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:43,536 heavy airstrikes down on Goat Island the results of the tragedy are still unknown. 489 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,720 But we are expecting heavy casualties 490 00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,180 Need I say more? 491 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,700 What a strange coincidence. 492 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:53,980 Sure is. 493 00:38:06,340 --> 00:38:11,296 Thanks for throwing this party Jimmy I was just gonna stay at home and drink 494 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:17,805 the bottle to the end and do that by myself but I'd much rather be doing that in the 495 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:19,396 company of friends. 496 00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:22,065 No problem Stacy I feel like the only 497 00:38:22,089 --> 00:38:27,076 patriotic thing I can do when the whole world was at war is throw a party drink 498 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:31,696 amongst friends and maybe blog my personal uneducated experiences about 499 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:32,940 10 beers later. 500 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,420 You're a real American Hero Jimmy. 501 00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:37,676 Thanks, Pat. Want a wiener? 502 00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:39,476 Wanted it for years. 503 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:43,800 There's a little bit of gay undertones when you said that, such an oddball. 504 00:38:43,940 --> 00:38:47,876 It's the end of the world, just thought I'd be honest. 505 00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:49,175 What a riot. 506 00:38:49,199 --> 00:38:51,836 Never mind. 507 00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:52,880 Ooh. 508 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,320 This guy never quits. 509 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,116 So Jimmy what are you doing later on tonight? 510 00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:16,440 After I blog I usually just go right to sleep. 511 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,280 Well... Would you like some company? 512 00:39:19,580 --> 00:39:24,180 I prefer to blog alone. It's really hard to write with someone standing over you. 513 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,500 Well what about after that? 514 00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:33,660 I don't have a spare bed in my place and I already promised a couch to someone else. 515 00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:37,340 But if you drank too much you could always sleep in a garage. 516 00:39:38,260 --> 00:39:40,520 I think you're missing the point. 517 00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:44,940 I'll go ask Pat... 518 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,540 Hey! 519 00:40:01,380 --> 00:40:03,340 Hey what can I do you for pal? 520 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,680 I'll take a hotdog and cheeseburger... 521 00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:11,536 Can you serve me up a human slathered in barbecue sauce 522 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,500 with some beer battered pompous douchebag. 523 00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:21,840 We don't serve people here... I mean we serve people but not on the menu. 524 00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:27,320 Maybe if I walked you through it you'd change your mind. 525 00:40:38,220 --> 00:40:39,020 Sweet. 526 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,460 Anybody hungry? 527 00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:43,140 The hell? 528 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,260 What are you doing? These are civilians. 529 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,496 I'm about to school you in FIN dining, my comrade. 530 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,260 White meat is jaw some. 531 00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:07,460 Goodbye, cruel world! 532 00:41:20,380 --> 00:41:21,740 Bottoms up. 533 00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:28,820 Oh man, I think I got a buzz when I bit into that one. 534 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,756 Meanwhile in Russia, the war rages on... 535 00:41:59,780 --> 00:42:02,216 While the Red army invades on American soil. 536 00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:07,560 North Korea drops bombs down on the Soviet bases in Siberia. 537 00:42:12,860 --> 00:42:16,520 Marshall... Wolfgang I... 538 00:42:18,230 --> 00:42:19,896 Speak... 539 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:24,016 We are in the middle of a war. I do not have time for this. 540 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,806 Sir, I was sending Snaf chats 541 00:42:25,830 --> 00:42:29,406 back and forth with my cousin in the United States when he sent me 542 00:42:29,430 --> 00:42:31,120 disturbing news. 543 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,840 All news is disturbing news... 544 00:42:34,340 --> 00:42:37,840 Well except for good news, often that is very good... 545 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,140 Go on comrade, get on with the punch line. 546 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:45,276 It turns out, our shark commandos are not just killing the American resistance. 547 00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,656 They are also slaughtering civilians. 548 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,636 When we dropped nuclear weapons on America. 549 00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:55,560 It was never my intention to harm innocent civilians. 550 00:42:55,980 --> 00:43:00,736 Killing innocent people goes against everything this war is being fought for. 551 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,876 Is it though? I mean if... If you think about it... 552 00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:07,296 I mean when you created the super commandos you made them to wipe out... 553 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,380 To wipe out the American scum. 554 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:11,646 There is no place in this world for 555 00:43:11,670 --> 00:43:15,736 a Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark 556 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:20,876 who feeds on the flesh of perfectly innocent 557 00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:23,956 succulent American booty. 558 00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:27,936 Send word for the man responsible for creating these 559 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,860 treacherous creatures. 560 00:43:29,900 --> 00:43:32,480 I need to speak with him immediately. 561 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:37,376 After I catch up on the next episode of Ray Donovan. 562 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,800 The last one was a cliffhanger 563 00:43:40,140 --> 00:43:43,680 Yes, Wolfgang. I will send your message with haste! 564 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,536 Back in the U.S.A. Dermot Jackson Washington 565 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,036 rummages through years worth of paperwork. 566 00:43:57,060 --> 00:44:01,296 Hoping to uncover his mistakes and rectify his failed experiments. 567 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,716 Blast these infernal experiments! 568 00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:07,760 What's wrong why are you throwing things? 569 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,120 Oh Bruno... 570 00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,696 I don't expect you to understand. 571 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:16,620 Stand? I don't want to stand, I wanna sit. 572 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,016 Of course you do Bruno... You poor simple dog. 573 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,056 The world is falling apart 574 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,656 and our beloved country is being invaded by super human sharks. 575 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,936 And with all my brilliance and education. 576 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,236 All I've come up with is a feeble minded talking dog. 577 00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:40,798 I'll choose to forgive you for that seeing as 578 00:44:40,810 --> 00:44:43,360 you're not thinking clearly 'cause your angry. 579 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,280 Eureka, Bruno! 580 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:50,920 Wait... What? 581 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,336 I've been going at the equation all wrong. 582 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:05,456 I've done all my experiments on a canine host. 583 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,420 When I should have been testing on a human host after all. 584 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,376 Goody goody gumdrops, I've solved the equation! 585 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,240 Hot diggety dog! 586 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:16,736 Jumpin' jelly beans! 587 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:17,896 Jiminy Christmas. 588 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,936 That sure was a humdinger 589 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:21,015 Ziggety damn! 590 00:45:21,039 --> 00:45:23,136 Heavens to Betsy. 591 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,476 Bingo! 592 00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:25,596 Now you're talking. 593 00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:27,600 I'll be doggoned! 594 00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:33,596 The only question now... Is where do I find a human host? 595 00:45:33,620 --> 00:45:37,976 The only other question is... When do we eat? 596 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,480 Soon my furry friend, very, very soon. 597 00:45:41,540 --> 00:45:45,076 Not only will we taste the sweet success of victory. 598 00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:47,136 But we will also see if there's any 599 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,316 Post Apocalyptic Pizza Places that still deliver. 600 00:45:51,340 --> 00:45:52,876 You're a genius! 601 00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,516 And soon the rest of the world will know 602 00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:59,300 that we are on the brink of liberation, Bruno. 603 00:46:03,180 --> 00:46:06,462 Marty Warbuckand his new companion Alfonzo 604 00:46:06,474 --> 00:46:09,396 Itani searched for a fight against the Red army 605 00:46:09,420 --> 00:46:11,096 under the cover of the woods. 606 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,476 Blood was in the water and this time America was the 607 00:46:14,500 --> 00:46:16,516 shark searching for its prey. 608 00:46:16,540 --> 00:46:18,196 What's the plan Marty? 609 00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:22,760 We're apparently on our own in the shark infested country we call home. 610 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:28,116 Well the plan is... Find those Soviet dirtbags. 611 00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:30,560 Send them back to Hell where they came from. 612 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,900 When we're done with those scumbags there will be no vacancy in hell. 613 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:36,696 Quiet! 614 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:37,920 You hear that? 615 00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:39,756 Sounds like... 616 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,200 Russians. 617 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,580 It's hammer time. 618 00:46:49,620 --> 00:46:52,080 La la, la vidly vodka. 619 00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:53,280 Vodka! 620 00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:54,560 La vidly vodka. 621 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:55,500 Vodka! 622 00:46:55,540 --> 00:46:57,116 La vidly va, la vidly va 623 00:46:57,140 --> 00:46:58,096 Vidly... Vodka 624 00:46:58,120 --> 00:46:58,920 Vodka! eh! 625 00:46:59,040 --> 00:46:59,880 Vodka! 626 00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:08,000 Don't even think about it. 627 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,876 Damn dirty rotten vodka stenched Russkies. 628 00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:17,380 They didn't need to die. 629 00:47:17,860 --> 00:47:19,356 But they chose to. 630 00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:22,000 All this killin' can make a man go insane. 631 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,696 Sometimes I wonder who I am when I do what I have to keep doing. 632 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:28,820 Nobody ever said killing came easy. 633 00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:31,391 I just try to think of every American life I 634 00:47:31,403 --> 00:47:33,860 might have just saved by vanquishing the red enemy. 635 00:47:33,940 --> 00:47:37,000 And that Marty... That gives me peace. 636 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,856 God bless America. 637 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,840 Ain't that the truth. 638 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,700 We should keep moving. There's probably more Red Army around here. 639 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,407 And with this small victory, Marty 640 00:47:52,419 --> 00:47:54,896 Warbuck and Alfonzo Itani brought America 641 00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:59,156 just one small step closer to winning the war against our deranged enemy. 642 00:47:59,180 --> 00:48:02,480 What some men called the Red Devil. 643 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:14,916 Hello my liege and welcome to America the land of diminishing freedoms. 644 00:48:14,940 --> 00:48:18,636 To what do I owe the pleasure of the great Wolfgang Sokolov entering my lair. 645 00:48:18,660 --> 00:48:22,496 Perhaps you're here to congratulate me of my recent successes. 646 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:28,920 Quite the contrary doctor. Well I find your experiments a smashing success. 647 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,536 I grow suspicious of your intentions. 648 00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,676 My intentions are only to please you my master. 649 00:48:35,700 --> 00:48:38,820 I created these super sharks to do your bidding. 650 00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:43,226 Tell me what it is I can do differently and I will surely do the best I can to 651 00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:47,036 gratify your requests... My fearless leader. 652 00:48:47,060 --> 00:48:49,186 Well I wanted to conquer this world and 653 00:48:49,210 --> 00:48:51,916 rule over this country. 654 00:48:51,940 --> 00:48:56,516 I did not want it to be at the expense of innocent lives. 655 00:48:56,540 --> 00:49:00,536 That is strange with a whole nuclear war and all. 656 00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,660 Why does everyone keep saying that? 657 00:49:03,700 --> 00:49:10,000 I only wanted to nuke the bad guys not kill everyone in the whole country. 658 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,476 Well you can't really pick and choose. 659 00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:14,296 Whatever I am not a scientist. 660 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,736 That is besides the point. 661 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,156 Which is? 662 00:49:18,180 --> 00:49:22,560 I want the slaughtering of civilians to stop. 663 00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,536 These sharks they can't really be told what to do in such ways. 664 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,836 You programmed them. 665 00:49:29,860 --> 00:49:32,776 They only do what you ask. 666 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,176 Otherwise we would all be dead. 667 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:40,466 You see you are missing the bigger picture Wolfgang they do only kill whoever I 668 00:49:40,490 --> 00:49:42,036 command them to. Yes. 669 00:49:42,060 --> 00:49:45,400 And they are sparing your Russian army for now. 670 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:46,536 For now? 671 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:47,716 Yes. 672 00:49:47,740 --> 00:49:50,476 But you see I am not a Russian. 673 00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,276 I am a simple German doctor. 674 00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:54,196 Doing work for the Russians. 675 00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:58,816 And we appreciate what you have done for us in this war so far. 676 00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,240 But it must end. 677 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,976 I'm afraid it only ends the way that I write the story in history 678 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,196 you poor buffoon. 679 00:50:08,220 --> 00:50:09,836 Excuse me? 680 00:50:09,860 --> 00:50:12,346 You see while I have been mass producing 681 00:50:12,370 --> 00:50:15,406 these shark commandos you've been annihilating the military in both 682 00:50:15,430 --> 00:50:17,656 America and North Korea. 683 00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,060 Now we are slowly becoming the greatest power 684 00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:22,496 in the world. 685 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,036 For the greater strength of the motherland. 686 00:50:26,060 --> 00:50:29,456 For now, but as soon as I flip this switch. 687 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,916 My shark army will turn on the Soviet scum and I will become the 688 00:50:33,940 --> 00:50:35,836 ruler of the new world. 689 00:50:35,860 --> 00:50:37,956 You will never get away with this. 690 00:50:37,980 --> 00:50:41,340 Who will stop me, you? 691 00:50:44,340 --> 00:50:45,976 What have you done? 692 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,696 I have injected you with my experimental shark DNA. 693 00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:51,706 While the original was designed to be put in sharks I created 694 00:50:51,730 --> 00:50:54,716 another drug that works on humans as well. 695 00:50:54,740 --> 00:50:57,336 It takes longer but it has the same result. 696 00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,616 You mean? 697 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,116 Within eight hours you will become 698 00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:06,276 a Shark Commando ready to kill or die for me at the push of a button. 699 00:51:06,300 --> 00:51:07,380 Impossible! 700 00:51:07,540 --> 00:51:10,036 So very possible Wolfgang. 701 00:51:10,060 --> 00:51:13,486 Each shark man is injected with a microscopic chip that 702 00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:18,196 gives me complete control of their actions. With this device I can program 703 00:51:18,220 --> 00:51:21,116 who they attack and adjust their aggressiveness. 704 00:51:21,140 --> 00:51:23,800 What if they were to turn against you? 705 00:51:23,860 --> 00:51:26,520 I've put a kill switch in the remote just in case. 706 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,476 Which button is that? 707 00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,896 The big red one? 708 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:35,056 Stop asking me questions... 709 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:36,376 Yes the red one. 710 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,740 I was just curious. 711 00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:43,556 If you have family now would be the time to say your goodbyes. 712 00:51:43,580 --> 00:51:45,360 You're a monster. 713 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,720 Soon you will find that you are the monster. 714 00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:06,280 Oh ho ho... Jackpot! 715 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,140 Hey man you got any change? 716 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,856 I'll tell you what if you come back to my lab. 717 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:22,080 I will give you $20 a pizza and let you take a shower. 718 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:23,300 Oh ho. 719 00:52:23,341 --> 00:52:24,496 What do you say to that? 720 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,496 One rule. 721 00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:26,586 Anything. 722 00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:29,320 Mm hmm no sodomy. 723 00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:32,096 Sir, I can assure you, I am a gentleman. 724 00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,196 That was never in the plan. 725 00:52:34,220 --> 00:52:36,560 Then count me in haha. 726 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,020 Well come this way. Oh yeah 727 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:41,700 Happy days are here again! Happy days. 728 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:48,756 This is some damn good pizza I can't believe they still deliver. 729 00:52:48,780 --> 00:52:51,316 I know quite mind boggling isn't it? 730 00:52:51,340 --> 00:52:54,540 Thanks for this... 731 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,396 You know, it's hard to find someone who will help out an old homeless guy 732 00:52:59,420 --> 00:53:03,256 without any ulterior motives. 733 00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,916 Ulterior motives... Right. 734 00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:08,556 Ya know whenever anyone says there 735 00:53:08,580 --> 00:53:13,640 ain't any good people left in the world well I can tell them... They're wrong. 736 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,776 Of course... Say can you do something for me? 737 00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,206 Oh sure man. 738 00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:20,460 Anything for a friend hmm 739 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,036 I'd like to inject you with some canine DNA. 740 00:53:23,060 --> 00:53:24,116 Stem cells... 741 00:53:24,140 --> 00:53:28,620 A hint of strange chemicals that I derived from a scientific formula. 742 00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,144 That you wouldn't understand even if I explained it to you. 743 00:53:31,168 --> 00:53:32,296 What's it gonna do? 744 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,436 It's gonna turn you into a Superhuman Weredog. 745 00:53:35,460 --> 00:53:36,656 Where at my command. 746 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,000 You would defend America... From its enemies. 747 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,660 I don't have anything else going on so... 748 00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:45,876 Sure I guess. 749 00:53:45,900 --> 00:53:47,980 Brilliant... Brilliant 750 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,136 I can't believe you suckered someone into letting you do it 751 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,340 I thought you would have had do drug him. 752 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,016 Did you drug me? 753 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,816 I think that dog was talking to me. 754 00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,236 Shut up Bruno. 755 00:54:02,260 --> 00:54:06,156 Don't pay attention to that dog he's just messing with you. 756 00:54:06,180 --> 00:54:09,920 Okay... So we gonna do this before my shower? 757 00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,700 Ow ow ow. 758 00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,756 You should have said go or something... 759 00:54:19,780 --> 00:54:21,460 It surprised me. 760 00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,220 Are you feeling any of the effects yet? 761 00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:27,116 No, I don't think so. 762 00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:28,536 Do you want a biscuit? 763 00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,296 I may be homeless but I am not an animal. 764 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:37,696 Oh my life's works all been for nothing. 765 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:40,028 I wouldn't say you spent your entire 766 00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,876 lifetime trying to turn a man into a weredog. 767 00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:44,676 Shut up Bruno. 768 00:54:44,700 --> 00:54:46,500 I was trying to be dramatic. 769 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:51,700 Oof. 770 00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:01,100 You alright, Boy? 771 00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,940 He's taking on the characteristics of a canine... 772 00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,196 But he hasn't started the transformation yet. 773 00:55:10,220 --> 00:55:14,086 Now is probably a good time to say that whole bit about your experiment 774 00:55:14,110 --> 00:55:15,300 being a waste. 775 00:55:15,860 --> 00:55:17,300 Shut up Bruno. 776 00:55:20,060 --> 00:55:21,740 It's rolling. 777 00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:22,840 You're live. 778 00:55:23,060 --> 00:55:26,080 Hello, people of the world. 779 00:55:27,340 --> 00:55:29,756 If anybody is listening. 780 00:55:29,780 --> 00:55:34,180 My name is Wolfgang Sokolov. 781 00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:40,116 I am the Marshal of the Russian Federation. 782 00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:42,296 And appointed leader of the 783 00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,120 reinstated Soviet Army. 784 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:50,600 I have written this letter to you the people. 785 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:54,700 To understand me and the things I have done. 786 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,156 I am a troubled man. 787 00:55:58,180 --> 00:56:01,420 That has made a huge mistake 788 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:05,816 by overthrowing my own government. 789 00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:10,036 And commencing this nuclear war. 790 00:56:10,060 --> 00:56:14,816 I have destroyed so much of the world that was still good. 791 00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,500 I had hired a German scientist 792 00:56:17,620 --> 00:56:20,136 named Siegfried Schröder. 793 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,660 To create these Post Apocalyptic Shark Commandos. 794 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,428 My plan was to crush the military and 795 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,916 government presence in America and so on for the 796 00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:32,700 rest of the world. 797 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:39,080 I dreamed of a united world all serving under the Soviet flag. 798 00:56:39,300 --> 00:56:40,136 But. 799 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,196 My dream soon became a nightmare 800 00:56:44,220 --> 00:56:46,795 once I discovered that Schroeder was 801 00:56:46,819 --> 00:56:49,436 slaughtering innocent civilians. 802 00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:53,680 And had full power over the Shark Commandos. 803 00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:55,660 I confronted him. 804 00:56:56,420 --> 00:56:59,256 He has injected me with a virus 805 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:05,300 that will transform me into one of his mindless shark drones. 806 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,536 My time left here is limited. 807 00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:14,076 So I beg you... 808 00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:16,816 Whoever is listening to stop Schroeder 809 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,956 and end this war. 810 00:57:19,980 --> 00:57:25,800 He alone holds a device capable of stopping these creatures. 811 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:30,116 He is currently located in Western New York. 812 00:57:30,140 --> 00:57:34,216 Here is a picture of us together so that 813 00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,256 you may identify him. 814 00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,540 Stop the scientist. 815 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:40,240 Save the world. 816 00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,776 Your cell phone still works? 817 00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,016 Yes Marty. 818 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,236 It was just another run of the mill nuclear war. 819 00:57:46,260 --> 00:57:48,080 You act like the world ended or something. 820 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,176 Well I mean it kind of did. 821 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,116 There's a lot of stuff in the tank. 822 00:57:52,140 --> 00:57:54,520 I can't even watch my stories on cable anymore. 823 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,176 Why is that the most important thing you want to talk about. 824 00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,156 Did you not just watch this video with me? 825 00:57:59,180 --> 00:58:00,936 Wolfgang Sokolov just informed us 826 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,996 that the key to ending this war lies right here in our general area. 827 00:58:04,020 --> 00:58:07,186 How do we know there's not lies, how do we know it's not a trap or something? 828 00:58:07,210 --> 00:58:10,065 They already have the upper hand what would it benefit him giving us the 829 00:58:10,089 --> 00:58:13,380 information he just did think about the facts Marty. 830 00:58:13,620 --> 00:58:17,616 Well if you were some evil scientist with secret lab where would you hide? 831 00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,056 If I was an evil scientist bent 832 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,736 on destroying society. 833 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,300 And I was just revealed to the world I'd probably go into hiding. 834 00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,396 Well if you were an evil scientist that wanted the fame of 835 00:58:28,420 --> 00:58:32,380 starting the biggest war in all of history, then where would you hide? 836 00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,640 I'll check online and see what's trending. 837 00:58:36,820 --> 00:58:41,460 Well if I had to guess I'd say he's probably out there creating some sort of... 838 00:58:41,540 --> 00:58:43,280 Gargantua Shark! 839 00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,436 Do you see it Dilbert? 840 00:58:48,460 --> 00:58:50,816 Do you see the monster I have created? 841 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,740 Yeah master, it's beautiful! 842 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,816 Nobody can stop me now. 843 00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:09,596 The world is my oyster. 844 00:59:09,620 --> 00:59:12,780 My enemies will crumble before me. 845 00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,080 For the love of cheesecake, would you shut up already? 846 00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,840 That's really getting annoying. 847 00:59:39,020 --> 00:59:41,420 I agree, Bruno. I absolutely agree. 848 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,060 But I don't know what to do. 849 00:59:46,460 --> 00:59:51,240 All the time I’ve spent trying to create my own super human soldier has been a waste. 850 00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,476 I've failed once again old friend. 851 00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:57,656 Maybe instead of creating your own superhuman. 852 00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:01,936 You should just try to come up with something to repel the existing sharks. 853 01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:04,556 You know, like flea medicine. 854 01:00:04,580 --> 01:00:07,960 Bruno you're a genius! 855 01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:14,796 When I was trying to 856 01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:17,096 remove the cancerous tumor from your buttocks. 857 01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,056 I stocked up on a substantial 858 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,836 supply of Pardaxin. 859 01:00:20,860 --> 01:00:24,060 Which I collected from the secretions of the Red Sea Sol... 860 01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,696 You lost me on butt cancer. 861 01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,856 What I'm trying to say Bruno is I hoarded an 862 01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,900 excessive amount of Pardaxin. 863 01:00:33,540 --> 01:00:36,636 Which happens to be alternatively used as a 864 01:00:36,660 --> 01:00:38,060 shark repellent. 865 01:00:38,420 --> 01:00:39,240 Brilliant! 866 01:00:42,020 --> 01:00:45,786 If we sprayed this Pardaxin into the face of a shark man it will result in 867 01:00:45,810 --> 01:00:51,176 severe struggle mouth paralysis and temporary leakage of urea from the gills. 868 01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:57,060 Giving our soldiers enough time to fight the good fight. 869 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,160 Shut up! Bad, Human. Stop. 870 01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,080 Something bad is happening. 871 01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:37,720 Thank you! 872 01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:40,240 Really? 873 01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,496 I'm getting weird looks from you. 874 01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:46,400 You're a walking talking shark man, come on. 875 01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,760 What are the odds that I'd create that shark repellent 876 01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,440 as soon as the killer shark man entered my lab. 877 01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:08,501 And how convenient that he left his gun leaning 878 01:02:08,513 --> 01:02:10,736 on the wall instead of just shooting you. 879 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:15,956 How that series of events happened to play out so well and just in the nick of time. 880 01:02:15,980 --> 01:02:19,420 Is beyond even my comprehension. 881 01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:24,356 Hello Agatha. 882 01:02:24,380 --> 01:02:25,776 I think I've stumbled across something 883 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,740 that could change the pace of this war. 884 01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:29,480 Come quickly. 885 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,820 We have sharks to kill. 886 01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,420 Bruno, stop licking that! 887 01:02:41,260 --> 01:02:42,060 I found it. 888 01:02:42,100 --> 01:02:42,936 What is it? 889 01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,096 I was following trending videos on social media. 890 01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,560 And it just came across this video of a giant land walking shark. 891 01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:51,680 Jumping jaguars, that thing is huge. 892 01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:55,336 I think this evil scientist just created a far bigger threat to this war than just 893 01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,440 commando sharks. 894 01:02:57,180 --> 01:02:59,496 You're telling me there's a shark of Megalodon proportions. 895 01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:01,956 Crushing and eating its way through New York? 896 01:03:01,980 --> 01:03:03,436 That's exactly what I'm saying, Marty. 897 01:03:03,460 --> 01:03:06,480 And I know the exact location of this building it just leveled. 898 01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:09,160 Let's go there's no time to waste. 899 01:03:20,620 --> 01:03:22,116 Let's rock and roll baby. 900 01:03:22,140 --> 01:03:23,720 It's fishing time. 901 01:03:23,940 --> 01:03:25,420 I have a shark to kill. 902 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:27,740 Let's kick some monster fin. 903 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:30,816 Dude stop trying to one up me every time 904 01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:31,896 I drop a good one liner. 905 01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,416 I like one liners too what's the big deal? 906 01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,296 There's no one around here anyway. 907 01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:37,740 Well it's just kind of my thing. 908 01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:40,600 And I feel like you're kind of taking that from me. 909 01:03:41,180 --> 01:03:44,040 I didn't know I'm sorry. 910 01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:45,740 It's fine, let's just go. 911 01:03:48,580 --> 01:03:51,660 Bring me sharks or bring me death. 912 01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:53,020 Dude! 913 01:03:53,060 --> 01:03:54,120 My last one, I swear. 914 01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:01,260 Wolfgang, are you alright? 915 01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:06,380 I am turning into one of those creatures. 916 01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,660 How can you be sure? 917 01:04:11,740 --> 01:04:13,960 I am transforming! 918 01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:16,080 Wha... What can I do to help you? 919 01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,360 There is nothing. 920 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:19,960 Anyone can do. 921 01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:23,336 It is too late for me. 922 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,180 There must be something. 923 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:27,096 I hope. 924 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:31,980 That when people look back in history 925 01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:37,260 they will not remember me as the monster I was 926 01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:40,460 or the monster I will be. 927 01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:44,756 You're a good man deep down inside Sir. 928 01:04:44,780 --> 01:04:46,716 People will know that. 929 01:04:46,740 --> 01:04:48,520 Then shoot me in the head. 930 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,960 End my suffering. 931 01:04:51,660 --> 01:04:53,456 I... I can't do that 932 01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:55,576 I am sworn to protect you Comrade. 933 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,300 Then give me your pistol. 934 01:04:58,620 --> 01:05:00,720 Let me do the job myself. 935 01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:02,200 Please. 936 01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:04,636 You are going to get through this. 937 01:05:04,660 --> 01:05:07,960 Everything is going to be fine. 938 01:05:09,980 --> 01:05:13,020 I wish that were the case. 939 01:05:13,340 --> 01:05:16,856 Hey come quickly, watch this video. 940 01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:18,956 Schröder has created a Gargantua Shark that is 941 01:05:18,980 --> 01:05:21,536 leveling cities with its girthy body. 942 01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:24,996 I'll come in a minute I'm checking on Wolfgang. 943 01:05:25,020 --> 01:05:28,356 Holy peanut butter and crap sandwich! 944 01:05:28,380 --> 01:05:31,200 Its even eating us Russians, nobody is safe! 945 01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,060 Just pause it I'll be there soon. 946 01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:38,540 Wolfgang? 947 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:44,560 You should have killed me when you had the chance. 948 01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:01,356 Hey you're not looking so well Wolfgang. 949 01:06:02,900 --> 01:06:05,160 (Indistinct) 950 01:06:55,720 --> 01:07:00,056 So this shark walks into a bar with a drink in his hand 951 01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,256 and the bartender says. 952 01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:07,016 "Hey you gotta FIN-ish that before you come in here." 953 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:11,040 So the shark wastes every sucker in the bar. 954 01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:25,740 Dermot, hello. 955 01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,136 Thank you 956 01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,936 for that shark repellent, it's going to save many lives. 957 01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,720 My pleasure Agatha. 958 01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:33,596 Yes... Well... 959 01:07:33,620 --> 01:07:36,196 The Russians have just signed a peace treaty and we're 960 01:07:36,220 --> 01:07:39,096 one step closer to taking down those shark devils. 961 01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:41,096 We couldn't have done it without you. 962 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:42,336 Thank you, Agatha. 963 01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:43,436 With enough repellent. 964 01:07:43,460 --> 01:07:46,876 We might even be able to take down that gargantuan shark that is currently 965 01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:48,196 terrorizing New York. 966 01:07:48,220 --> 01:07:49,920 Orangutan shark? 967 01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:54,380 Gargantuan shark... Is an enormous shark 968 01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:59,156 that can breathe out of the water and is flopping around the city. 969 01:07:59,180 --> 01:08:01,736 Eating civilians and wrecking everything in its path. 970 01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:03,740 How curious. 971 01:08:04,260 --> 01:08:05,440 Indeed. 972 01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:09,640 Narf? 973 01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:12,716 New American Resistance Force 974 01:08:12,740 --> 01:08:16,540 Well it's just that it reminded me of Pinky and brain is all. 975 01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:22,236 Anyway old Bruno is sweating it out in the car I don't want to keep 976 01:08:22,260 --> 01:08:23,776 a hot dog waiting. 977 01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:25,196 No you shouldn't. 978 01:08:25,220 --> 01:08:27,476 Thank you again Dermot for your service 979 01:08:27,500 --> 01:08:28,556 to our great country. 980 01:08:28,580 --> 01:08:31,296 If there's ever anything you need please don't hesitate to ask. 981 01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:35,040 Well I could use a new vehicle. Mine barely passed inspection last time 982 01:08:35,620 --> 01:08:37,540 within reason Dermot. 983 01:08:37,740 --> 01:08:42,496 You make it sound so insincere when you say it that way. 984 01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:44,396 Anything. 985 01:08:44,420 --> 01:08:46,016 Don't you have a dog to check on? 986 01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:46,840 Yes I do. 987 01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:47,900 Farewell. 988 01:08:48,100 --> 01:08:52,960 Okay goodbye Der... Good... No goodbye Dermot, that's inappropriate. 989 01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:54,976 Run along now. 990 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,100 Thank you. 991 01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:01,280 Till we meet again peculiar little science man. 992 01:09:33,140 --> 01:09:34,396 Sorry. 993 01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,060 It's okay? 994 01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,315 As the story nears its dramatic 995 01:09:40,327 --> 01:09:42,916 conclusion our heroes face their evil foes on the 996 01:09:42,940 --> 01:09:44,296 battlefield. 997 01:09:44,320 --> 01:09:47,816 On their way to fight the evil scientist Siegfried Schröder. 998 01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,136 Marty Warbuck and Alfonzo Itani 999 01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:53,216 recruited help from any American willing to lend a hand 1000 01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:54,936 along the way. 1001 01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,740 Our whole lives have led up to this moment people. 1002 01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,976 The outcome of what happens today 1003 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,100 will define us for generations. 1004 01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,276 'Cause this is the day we stare tyranny in the face. 1005 01:10:06,300 --> 01:10:09,920 And we say go back to the hell you came from tyranny. 1006 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,556 This is our country. 1007 01:10:11,580 --> 01:10:14,260 Let's show what it means to be American. 1008 01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:21,900 Do you think the small band of misfits are capable of fighting my gargantuan shark? 1009 01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:26,336 The very thought of it is complete poppycock. 1010 01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,836 You don't stand a chance against my monster. 1011 01:10:28,860 --> 01:10:31,876 They might not but I will. 1012 01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:37,396 I built my trusty shrink ray years ago. 1013 01:10:37,420 --> 01:10:43,956 To help me transport loads of surplus supplies 1014 01:10:43,980 --> 01:10:48,176 back and forth to my lab. 1015 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,236 I am a bit of a hoarder. 1016 01:10:51,260 --> 01:10:53,306 And when Agatha Hudson 1017 01:10:53,330 --> 01:10:58,056 told me about the giant shark creature 1018 01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:00,416 destroying our city. 1019 01:11:00,440 --> 01:11:03,196 I figured I would come 1020 01:11:03,220 --> 01:11:04,660 and check it out. 1021 01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:11,056 Coincidentally I brought my shrink ray with me. 1022 01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:15,216 It is always in the glove compartment 1023 01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,876 A shrink ray? How convenient! 1024 01:11:17,900 --> 01:11:19,296 Quite. 1025 01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:20,576 I could have you shot now 1026 01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:23,066 though I am curious to see if you are bluffing. 1027 01:11:23,090 --> 01:11:29,246 So I will hesitate just long enough for you to test your shrink ray and then I 1028 01:11:29,270 --> 01:11:32,360 will doltishly watch as the next events unfold. 1029 01:11:32,860 --> 01:11:34,840 I don't know what to make of that. 1030 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,260 But here we go. 1031 01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:02,136 Leave him alive. 1032 01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:05,136 After we've eradicated the rest of these American vermin. 1033 01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:10,280 I would like to talk to the brilliant scientist and pick his brain. 1034 01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:13,580 He is now our prisoner. 1035 01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:14,760 Yes, Sir. 1036 01:12:15,320 --> 01:12:17,020 Now that the threat of the giant shark... 1037 01:12:17,060 --> 01:12:18,916 Gargantua Shark. 1038 01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:20,056 Forgive me. 1039 01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:23,156 Now that the threat of the Gargantua Shark 1040 01:12:23,180 --> 01:12:24,496 is over let's show 1041 01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,080 these apex predators how to bleed. 1042 01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:29,140 Open fire! Kill them all! 1043 01:12:32,300 --> 01:12:33,420 Oh snap! 1044 01:12:34,540 --> 01:12:35,340 Take cover! 1045 01:13:13,220 --> 01:13:14,980 We're under heavy fire! 1046 01:13:15,820 --> 01:13:16,676 Marty! 1047 01:13:16,700 --> 01:13:17,876 Yeah? 1048 01:13:17,900 --> 01:13:19,276 What do we do now? 1049 01:13:19,300 --> 01:13:21,116 Don't die and keep firing. 1050 01:13:21,140 --> 01:13:22,636 That's reassuring 1051 01:13:22,660 --> 01:13:25,100 Sorry, it's all I got. 1052 01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:35,940 Oof? 1053 01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:40,216 Come on man, he wasn't even armed. 1054 01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:41,356 Sorry. 1055 01:13:41,380 --> 01:13:43,280 Foul play, Sir. 1056 01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:44,300 Dude? 1057 01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,036 He was a bad guy. 1058 01:13:46,060 --> 01:13:50,040 Not really he was pretty nice... He just worked for me. 1059 01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:51,120 Not cool. 1060 01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:53,700 Poor Dilbert. 1061 01:14:07,580 --> 01:14:11,040 Air support was a nice touch I'm not going to lie. 1062 01:14:19,620 --> 01:14:21,160 We've got him. 1063 01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:24,436 It's over Schröder you no longer have Russian support. 1064 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,356 Your shark army is as good as chum. 1065 01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:30,520 Surrender now and we'll see you have a proper trial. 1066 01:14:30,780 --> 01:14:34,116 All good things must come to an end I suppose. 1067 01:14:34,140 --> 01:14:35,660 Schröder 1068 01:14:36,660 --> 01:14:39,640 Wolfgang, here to save me I presume? 1069 01:14:47,220 --> 01:14:48,620 Alfonzo, no! 1070 01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:50,256 He was a shark. 1071 01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:52,620 Don't judge all sharks by the actions of a few. 1072 01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:54,936 I'm sorry... 1073 01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:56,560 I thought... 1074 01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:04,380 How did you resist my orders? 1075 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:08,060 You made a fatal mistake, Schröder... 1076 01:15:08,260 --> 01:15:12,556 You told me that you injected me with a microscopic chip which gives you 1077 01:15:12,580 --> 01:15:15,596 complete control of me at your command. 1078 01:15:15,620 --> 01:15:18,276 So I removed the chip with a knife 1079 01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:20,856 and a lot of painful digging. 1080 01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:25,416 I shouldn't have told you that I just wanted someone to know how brilliant I was. 1081 01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:27,916 It was a great twist on your part 1082 01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:31,356 and yours with the whole digging the chip out thing. 1083 01:15:31,380 --> 01:15:32,300 Very clever. 1084 01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:34,640 Thank you (Russian) 1085 01:15:34,700 --> 01:15:35,580 Likewise. 1086 01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:38,296 I see a bright light. 1087 01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,640 I suppose this is the end. 1088 01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:46,520 Funny... All I see is darkness. 1089 01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:55,496 Check this scientist's pocket for a remote the red button is a kill switch 1090 01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:59,040 for the rest of the shark army. 1091 01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:20,236 It's over. 1092 01:16:20,260 --> 01:16:21,940 I think you're right. 1093 01:16:25,900 --> 01:16:30,120 Did I really show up late for the grand finale? 1094 01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:32,880 Dooohhh! 1095 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:36,580 Sorry, I didn't see him there. 1096 01:16:38,740 --> 01:16:41,076 Bruno you fool. 1097 01:16:41,100 --> 01:16:43,020 My paw is sticky. 1098 01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:47,460 Please forgive me he must have got it into my formulas. 1099 01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:52,380 Let me go find the shrink ray and I'll take care of this problem. 1100 01:16:52,940 --> 01:16:54,456 Stay put Bruno. 1101 01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:55,280 Okay 1102 01:16:56,980 --> 01:16:59,236 It's been a very strange week. 1103 01:16:59,260 --> 01:17:00,380 You can say that again. 1104 01:17:00,620 --> 01:17:02,636 It's been a very strange week 1105 01:17:02,660 --> 01:17:05,166 I didn't mean you should literally say it again. 1106 01:17:05,190 --> 01:17:06,536 Then why did you say it? 1107 01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:07,736 It's a figure of speech. 1108 01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:08,936 You're a figure of speech 1109 01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:10,936 I'm gonna figure my fist into your speech .place 1110 01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:13,776 I'm gonna figure my face into your fist and break it with it. 1111 01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:14,856 I never liked you. 1112 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,480 I never liked you more. 1113 01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:23,280 Medic! 1114 01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:28,726 And so our courageous heroes fought valiantly to 1115 01:17:28,738 --> 01:17:31,676 restore the country back to the American people. 1116 01:17:31,700 --> 01:17:34,791 While the rest of the world ordered a cease fire and were 1117 01:17:34,803 --> 01:17:37,960 forced to sit in the corner and think about what they did. 1118 01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:43,976 Marty Warbuck and Alfonzo Itani might have been small fish in a large stinky pond. 1119 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:47,260 But they proved to the rest of humanity that even one... 1120 01:17:47,340 --> 01:17:51,363 Or two small seemingly insignificant individuals can still 1121 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:55,340 make a substantial impact if given the motivation to try. 1122 01:17:55,460 --> 01:17:58,436 America thanks you Marty and Alfonzo... 1123 01:17:58,460 --> 01:18:01,189 And all the other brave Americans that fight 1124 01:18:01,201 --> 01:18:03,756 to protect our beloved country every day. 1125 01:18:03,780 --> 01:18:08,700 Until we meet again, I bid you farewell. 1126 01:22:01,239 --> 01:22:06,376 Hello resistance fighters this is your host DJ Guerrilla Warfare bringing you 1127 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:11,776 the latest news and the hottest tunes on this side of New America we'll be right 1128 01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,496 back after a short break from our sponsors. 1129 01:22:14,520 --> 01:22:16,716 Freedom Radio AM. 1130 01:22:16,740 --> 01:22:20,320 Your source for Resistance Force News.